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When your illness has been ruling your life without you knowing it

Three days before my 30th birthday, I hit a wall. I was nearly five months in to my initial diagnosis of hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS). I was 11 days removed from the geneticist-confirmed diagnosis. I was spent. I had no good energy left to give, to myself, let alone to anyone else.

Years ago, I wrote a research paper on food allergies and learned that sometimes people have aversions to things that they are allergic to. I think it works the same way with good energy. Before I was diagnosed with hEDS, I unconsciously shunned what didn’t give me life. Was I avoiding what I didn’t need because I knew I didn’t have the good energy to waste? When you’re diagnosed with a chronic condition, which on some days saps you of every ounce of energy you have, you can’t waste good energy.