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Being Sick Doesn’t Mean I Have to ‘Settle’

key information

source: The Mighty

year: 2016

authors: Kaitlyn Brennan

summary/abstract:

Two weeks ago on a Tuesday night I had a meltdown. This was a different kind of meltdown. I wasn’t feeling bad for myself or wishing for my old life back or crying tears of pain. I was crying tears of joy. I was crying because a boy told me he loved me.

I know at this point I begin to sound ridiculous. I would’ve found this ridiculous myself a year ago. Fellow spoonies understand why I was crying, though. When I got sick nine months ago, my life turned upside down. I lost friends, I lost hobbies, I lost myself. Along the way I found happiness and gained myself back piece by piece, but along the way I learned to settle. I learned how to budget out spoons in order to keep myself sane. I learned which plans to commit to, and I learned what battles were worth fighting.

The problem with settling is that you get in a habit of it. You start to believe that you will never be loved again, you will never be as happy as you were before, you will never have a normal life. Well, two weeks ago I was crying because I learned that this wasn’t true. I learned that despite my struggles, someone could love silly old me with the Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I learned that sometimes in life you don’t have to settle despite your diagnosis. I learned that I could be in a happy, healthy relationship.

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